Wow, i haven't written in here in a long time..Where to begin is the issue...Well the guy i used to talk about and i broke things off...in some ways, i guess it was for the best, but i miss him very much.
I have been dating someone new..he's 43, 10 years older than the last guy i was dating. He has 2 children, both boys; they are 18 and 21. He is recently separated from his wife of 22 years. We are taking things slowly and things seem to be going fairly well. He is really a great guy, he has time to spend with me and does spend as much time as possible with me. I just fear that i'm headed for another heartache here...he's not ready to settle down..i fear that i am his rebound girl...we've had many discussions about it and both have agreed we'd take things one day at a time. We are both supposed to be dating other people...but me dating more than one person is not that easy for me to do.
The guy i used to date, the one i mentioned above, stopped by to see me the other day...all those old feelings came right back up. It was a good night though...i suppose it gave me some closure, but at the same time made me want...again...what i can't have. I know that more now than before, and i know i gotta just let it go...so that's what i plan to do.
John, my ex husband, has decided to not allow me to see my son, so tomorrow morning i'm going to the courthouse to file a paper which will bring this to the judges attention...160 bux it's going to cost me..more money than what i can afford to part with right now. Ahh...but that is my life, isn't it?
I have started working at a new store, things are going okay over there i guess...i don't really have any friends anymore, i've found. Brian, one of our regulars, has turned out to be more of a friend than the people i've known for years and years...Isn't that sad?
I haven't talked to April in ages. I go up to visit her at work, but she rarely even talks to me. It bothers me a great deal. But, i guess..again..that's my life.
As i said before, my guy and i have an open relationship, several guys have shown lots of interest in me...but no one worthwhile...i guess i want too much, i am not looking for a sex fling, i want something with some stability and i get that with dale, the guy i've been seeing. What i want, is the relationship i had with Charlie, but with time together...god i miss him and i hate that i miss him!
James and i have become pretty close, he has started calling me his best friend..and he should cus i've bent over backward for him...he owes me a bunch of money, which i know i'll never see..but it's okay. His roommate is after me, he's 51 and way not my type, but i like him otherwise, he is really nice, if only he'd get off the kick of dating me, that'd be great. I really liked james a lot..but i am glad things didn't work out between us, i need friends more than anything..now if i could just get him to stop relying on me every time he needs something and focus more time on spending time w/ me as a friend, i'd be happier about it.
My ex, Zack, showed back up in town..he's been demanding my attention, but it seems he's turned out to be more like James than i can stand. I don't like it when people try to use me...i have next to nothing, what's the point? It's weird seeing him again, we've had an on again, off again, thing for years and years. He still sees us as two people that belong together...ugh! no, i really don't think so...i just can't go back, i can't get past all the lies...i dunno...
Alex and i have been talking a bit lately..it's still really hard...time doesn't seem to close that wound no matter how hard i try.
Well i guess i should wrap this up. I'm not really sure what else to talk about right now...hopefully i will start writing in this again..but who knows...
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