Vacation?

So far my vacation hasn't been much of a ..vacation..i've had to go in to work to change the drawer out now 2 times this week...and tonight i sat from 9-1:30 helping train the new guy cus no one else was there to train him..sucks..but i did what any GOOD manager should do..but will it be noticed by anyone important? Nope..will i get a raise for it..nope...so why do it...i'm too nice a person..i know i am..but how come so few people notice these things. I should be somewhere nice and basking in the sun..something fun and exciting..but instead I'm just hanging out doing my laundry and being annoyed by my exs and other fun things like that..man what a vacation.

I thought for sure I'd get to see my guy more often..but i am still having a hard time finding time to spend with him..rather he's having a hard time finding time to spend w/ me..cus what else do i have to do after all? nothing..He keeps telling me that it's not anything I'm doing wrong or that he doesn't want to spend time with me..and i want to believe him and for the most part i do..but sometimes i wonder if....yea..i hate that i wonder but i still do.. :( I think about him all the time-probably much more often than i should...Days come and days go and i keep finding myself wanting to see him more and more but i can't. I'm so lonely..god I'm lonely as hell. When i see him it makes it all better but i get to see him so rarely..i'm not sure how long i can stand it.

My mom took me out to dinner tonight, normally it's me taking her out to dinner..it was sorta strange..it kinda makes me wonder what bad news she has to tell me but i'm trying my best to be optimistic...that's not an easy feat for me. I'm glad she did tho i really did enjoy spending time w/ her outside of the house..it seems all we ever do is walk by each other all the time. I love her with all my heart, but she has to be one of the hardest people to tell that to....perhaps someday.

Anyway, i guess that's all i have to say for tonight. Take care whoever might be reading this.